The last weeks especially my birthday was very important to my present and future.
I never thought that letting go could be so easy and hard on the same time.
Some years ago I set up a plan.
I was sure to get my bachlor degree in economics.
Getting a well paid job and buying me all the things I ever dreamed of.
After one year of studying I had to realize that- that's s not what I wanted to do.
I defined myself through my job and bachlor because. I never felt special, but through the reactions from people I felt more important.
The closer I got to finally reach goal I had to realize that it ain't making me happy. I forced myself to be something I'm not.
We like to separate the mental construction from our heart- for a long time I belived that they don't need each other but my body, mind and soul thought me differently.
On my bday some weeks ago I had dinner with two very important family members - they listened, when I cried and talked about how I feel all the pressure the job and about me failing.
But they understood and gave me the feeling that if we fell decisions which have an importance to our path our heart has to be with it.
"Breaking up" my bachlor doesn't mean failing or loosing a year of university. It thought me that letting go can let you win something you never had before. A part which brings you closer to who you are.
Love LYA
